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Friday, March 28, 2008

The Customer is Not Always Right

Hilarious real stories from people working in retail stores, tech support, and customer service. Brought to you by Not Always Right blog:


Incident#1:

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a Playboy for my son.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, a Playboy to play with.”

Me: *trying very hard not to laugh* “You mean a Gameboy?”

Customer: “Yeah that!”

Customer: *realizes what she said* “Oh!”

*****
Incident#2:

(We’re selling tons of over-the-counter, store-brand medications at buy one, get one free. I ring up a lady who has two bottles of cough syrup with her. She keeps a stern eye on the cash register monitor as I check them through.)

Lady: “That’s not right.”

Me: “What isn’t?”

Lady: “The coupon says buy one at $6.99, get the other one free.”

Me: “Precisely. You’re getting both of these for $6.99.”

Lady: “But one’s ringing up as $3.50 and the other at $3.49.”

Me: “That’s correct. The register divides these differences automatically.”

Lady, growing fidgety: “But that’s not what the COUPON says.”

Me: *after a pause* “Well, $3.50 plus $3.49 is $6.99.”

Lady: “So this is how you scam customers!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m pretty certain that we here at [drugstore chain] do not scam our customers when even basic math can rule out any differences.”

Lady: “I only want one. Put this other one back, I don’t want it. I’m not paying an extra $3.49 for this. The ad said buy one, get one free, and I’m not getting that one for free.”

Me: *head-desk*

*****

Incident#3:

(I was in our technology support office when a housekeeping staff person, Donna, stopped by. There was no preamble to the dialog below.)

Donna: “Dr. Franklin gets e-mail in his office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “Alicia says she can check her e-mail in the office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “Nice.”

Donna: “Nice?”

Me: “Not nice?”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “I like e-mail, too.”

Donna: “You don’t have it?”

Me: “I do.”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *biting lower lip, uncertain what to say or do*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *glancing at the clock on the wall*

Donna: “I like to have e-mail.”

Me: “I like having e-mail, too, and I check it all the time.”

Donna: “Can I have it? I like to have e-mail.”

*****

Incident#4:

Customer: “I’ll have a margarita please.”

(I get a margarita and serve it to the woman.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss? Can I please have another margarita? This one doesn’t have enough quatilia in it.”

Me: “Ma’am, your drink is strong, I can guarantee it.”

Customer: “How do you know there is enough quatilia in this?”

Me: “Because you said “quatilia.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “It’s called ‘tequila.’”

(Customer face turns a nice shade of crimson.)

*****

Incident#5:

Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”

Sales: “The whole thing?”

*****

Incident#6:

(Customer brings a mediocre role playing game for the Nintendo DS up to the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, would this game be good for an eight year old?”

Me: “Well, does he like RPGs?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t let him watch anything rated R.”

Me: “Oh…I mean, does he like role playing games?”

Customer: “Whats that? That like one of them Mario games?”

Me: “No, it’s one where you follow a story line and usually has a lot of reading, like Final Fantasy. Has he ever played anything like that before?”

Customer: “Oh, he don’t read books. And I don’t like that it’s rated R and PG.”









3 comments:

jasims.net said...

Lool. :D

Nice ones.

deemco said...

Funny.. thanks for sharing :)

Maher said...

LOOOOOL! omg! i enjoyed reading em..! merci! :P

 

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